Be honest, be open, be resilient, be brave, value knowledge, be compassionate, and don’t be afraid of taking a nontraditional path. The values that have guided my life are pretty simple, I think. They don’t come from anybody else’s doctrine or religious guidance, but rather are a result of a lot of introspection and emotionally taxing experiences.
I truly believe that knowledge is power (something my mom used to say to me on a daily basis) and that an imbalance in it among all of us is the nucleus of all conflict. I also believe that disappointment is the direct result of unreasonable and/or unmanaged, maybe sometimes even subconscious, expectations. We are never as smart or as good as we think we are. To that end, my life has been a result of managing and working with these self proclaimed assertions, but also knowing that everything is fleeting and so I should be adaptable to life as it ebbs and flows.
Buried in the first assertion, is truth because to have knowledge of something you have to know a truth. A false, then, is just an abstract. The truth there is knowledge of the false and to admit it exists. Therefore, to live and work with the best and most complete knowledge that I can… I try to live in and focus on what’s true, although this is sometimes a struggle. The rest is “noise” and that drives me to honesty. The conflict that arises from having more knowledge, and by association more truth, is pretty extreme but limited with a time decay. Eventually, truth is either recognized or leaders edict that it will be ignored and we carry on. Knowing that’s the case… is again, more knowledge and working with it is more power.
Next, is the understanding that one cannot possibly be disappointed if expectations are synced with capability and reality. Capability is merely a function of energy.
Since the difference between fantasy and reality is just the energy we put into either, I can derive that obtaining, achieving, and gaining reality is merely a function of managing energy. Since we are all different as humans and have varying types and degrees of energy capability within us, I know that in my interpersonal relationships, I’m then not dealing with people, scope, feelings, or really anything else but rather I’m dealing with people’s energy. Recognizing that, then, allows me to set reasonable expectations for myself. I can manage by recognizing someone’s energy level and communicating mine to them. What’s fun and amazing at the same time is when they don’t recognize I’m managing this for them. This sets the level of output/results one can expect which then reduces disappointment. Reducing disappointment creates better output. Recognizing we aren’t as smart or as good as we think we are is critical to moving projects or objectives forward. A few of my favorite predictions are:
I. The world is flat.
II. The universe revolves around Earth.
III. Bill Gates was quoted as saying something like: “…nobody will need more than 640k of RAM (memory)…” This was predicated on the idea that the computer wouldn’t be able to process or store more than our brains and it was thought that our brains’ capacity was 640k.
IV. At about the turn of the 20th century, the director of the US Patent Office wanted to close its doors citing that, “…all that can be invented probably has been invented.” That one is a head scratcher. We had barely developed the Lewis dot formulas for chemical bonding of molecules!
All these assertions initially came from experts. They were/are the smartest and brightest… but, look at us now. Look how we, as a society, continually move counter to the predictions. I accept the fact that I can continually use additional input and that I don’t have all the answers. Being honest with myself about this allows me to gain more knowledge… and thus, more power. That additional power, of course, can sometimes create more conflict because some people might find this threatening. However, I have found that the best way to resolve this type of conflict is to acknowledge and accept the responsibility of using your power to empower others.
As the late and great Toni Morrison once said, “I tell my students, ‘When you get these jobs that you have been so brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else. This is not just a grab-bag candy game.”
Jennifer Kim 